Soften the edges

Taurus season reflections + painting the zodiac 2

Only two signs into this adventure and I’m flagging. Taurus season started, not with a bang of glorious Venusian delight but with a whimper of melancholic grey fog. The season opens and I am busy, work, a freelance project and an unrelenting fatigue and brain fog so thick you could cut it with a knife. The week rolls on and by Saturday I’m tired, migraine-ing and just unable to get out of bed. No matter, I think. Next week will be better. Next week is not in fact better and on top of that I’m away for the weekend so no painting can happen. It takes me most of the season to even consider what the image is. I wander through ideas in my mind, make word associations, search ‘taurus aesthetic’ on Pinterest multiple times and abandon each idea one by one.

Today is the day I say as I awake. But yet again I’ve woken tired and on the edge of a headache. Worries are dogging my every thought and Tuesday’s rent inspection is looming. Still as I get ready for the day I’m thinking about Taurus. I’m thinking about how my whole season thus far has been filled with tiredness, I’ve been spending every spare minute in bed. I’ve barely gotten ready properly on the days I didn’t absolutely have to.

As I let my mind wander over the season so far I think this is what Taurus is teaching us. The wisdom of the body. Its needs. Its desires. To receive this information and truly listen.

In the tarot, the card associated with Venus is the Empress. If you think the Empress is all lounging and roses, please, I beg you to remember that roses have thorns. The Empress holds a deceptively challenging energy. The energy of receiving. Not receiving because you earned it, but because you don’t have to. You exist, and so you receive. The bounty of the earth belongs to us all, there is no discrimination in the Empress’ eyes.

This is hard for our Western, capitalist minds to truly hold. Whether you’ve been indoctrinated by a religion that preaches guilt or an economic mindset that screams more, harder, better, faster, now; you probably find this receivership mentality a little hard to wrap your mind around. I know I still do, even after many years of actively attempting to decondition myself.

Every day that I wake up and then go straight back to bed I am dogged by my thoughts telling me I’m lazy, I’ll never make anything of myself, that I’ve not done enough to warrant the fatigue I feel. Yet, Venus says stay. Pull the covers up to your chin. Watch the light ripple across the walls and rest. Rest. Slow down for a while.

It will all be here when you’re ready again. And if it isn’t, let it fall away, you didn’t want it anyway.

This is what I want to capture with this image. The light that ripples across my bed as I rest. Coffee in hand. A book, a flower, a song. Taurus is Venus in the body, the earth. Fertile spring. The renewal of life after winter’s death.

“We find beauty not in the thing itself but in the patterns of shadows, the light and the darkness, that one thing against another creates.”― Jun’ichirō Tanizaki

Process notes:
I’m always listening to music as I create and for this painting I’ve been listening to the few songs already released from Laura Misch’s upcoming record, Lithic. Absolutely enchanted by both the music and visuals.
‘Soften’ Laura Misch

To keep the mood, many cups of coffee were drunk and sandalwood incense burnt through the process of painting. Setting the space is important, especially as I don’t have a permanent panting spot in my home at the moment, so each time I paint, I need to set up my station, which can dull the mood if I’m not careful.

This is the first time I’ve worked on a still life type piece and shot my own reference images to work from. Technically speaking, I have a long way to go with my painting work, but this one has taught me a lot through the process. These studies are quite small, 5x7 panels, and capturing the detail in the rose here was a killer. Something to work on in further compositions.

I hope you had a restful Taurus season ready as we move into the vastly different energy of Gemini. From earth to air, something is swirling, ready to strike!